beginning to end


like packing for a trip
anticipation, readiness to begin
sitting by water
sun so bright the black ink looks red
calm now-to remember later
in less still moments
carry it forward to still my anxious heart
not quite ready to move
but the muscles are remembering
twitching, aches, ready to sprint
zinnas in a vase dying
summer is going
changes are beginning


stillness needed to attain focus
decisions about what is best
but focus to convince the heart
writing proceeds movement
an indication of intent
mental working through to fine polish
the eventual act which is to follow
the scheduled time and date
to be announced when the water starts to boil
tea leaves floating in a cup
eventually to settle at the bottom
but prediction when is hard


when the movement has ended
wonders how I got here
to this place
not very far from any place else
just a tiny movement
in my head, in time
away from you
confusion at missing you
but not
two days before here
it was the same old
but in four hours
it changed
I don't think you understand where I've gone
without you.


27 September to 16 October 1998
copyright raven victoria erebus