or only refusing
to participate
in the human race
race to some destiny
or fate
does it matter which
I think too much
it takes over
I was vibrant
but now
much humbled
I go to work
I come home
but there is nothing
refusing to release
refusing to participate
I go through the motions
numb and quiet
I see things, people
I want to engage
If I keep doing what I'm doing
it's safe, nothing unexpected
I want something
but I'm afraid of disappointment
because in the end
I'm never right, never good enough
too smart, too weird
too high strung
too tired
too broken
just too much
so why bother
I already know what will happen
I already know it will end badly
it's easier to be quiet

copyright raven victoria erebus 11 December 2004